« Do my eyes look bloodshot? | Main | I Am Now An Agent »

Say Uncle!

Hi friends!

I hope everyone out there in internetville has had a lively week. How was mine, you ask? It was fantastic. It's beginning to look like a client of mine - my first client actually - may wind up with his own TV show. And he would star along side one of TV's all-time great hunks. I can't say who, but if you asked me to give you a clue, I'd have to say, "uncle!"

I bet you're wondering what, if anything, I did to secure this. Well, the answer is talk on the phone, a lot. So much that my jaw his hurting! But all this phone chattering made me think that the next thing one most know in order to be a Hollywood agent is Phone Etiquette 101.

There are three - and only three - tacts a young agent can take while "agenting" via phone.

1. The New Car Salesman.

Used car salesman reek of desperation and Drakkar Noir, but new car salesman are confident, concise and often quite fetching. When you're selling your clients, you are selling a Lexus. If the person you're talking to is wavering, forget 'em. The next person through the door is abso-freaking-lutely going to want your top-of-the-line luxury automobile.

2. The Homegirl

Use this approach when talking to female executives who seem like they could use a friend. Personal relationships are currency is Hollywood. Ask about their love lives, their pets, or the new book they're reading because it was got a good review on Slate.com (or because it's an Oprah book club pick - know your audience). This works doubly well if you're gay.

3. The Blame Game

If you get a call from an angry producer, manager or client, you MUST escape without any harm to your agency or clients. And you'd do quite well to avoid any damage to your reputation. This calls for the Blame Game. It's not pretty, but now being on the other side, I understand the importance of this rule: when in doubt, your assistant screwed up. The thing about the Blame Game is that it's universal, so no one really believes that your assistant is at fault, but like a get out of jail free card, the person on the other line will let you off the hook. This is because he or she will almost definitely play the Blame Game for you at some point in the near future.

Of course, there are variations on these rules. There's the Mother Hen, the Big Fan, the Let's Get Dinner and, of course, the Hail Mary. But if you stick to the first three you should have no problem accomplishing any goal you need to as a junior agent.

Okay, guys. That's all I have for you today!

Talk soon!

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (1)

112 PDA... Knock knock knock..

August 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRrb
Editor Permission Required
You must have editing permission for this entry in order to post comments.