Gay Pool Party: The Aftermath
Monday, October 13, 2008 at 02:23PM Welcome back, dear friends, to Letters from Lloyd. It is so good to finally be done with this week. As some of my friends out there know, I got in a teensy, weensy lil' bit o' trouble last weekend. What started out as a simple, calm, relaxing game night among some friends of ours (and Dorothy...) turned into the most epic gay pool party of all-time. Now, that would have been just fine with yours truly, but Tom and I were house and dogsitting for Alphaboss and his Alphawife came home just in time to find two of our more naked friends bellyflopping into each other! (All this, BTW, was TOTALLY Tom's fault. Oh, but I'll get him back, alright. Maybe it'll even be a future 'Letter from Lloyd!').
Needless to report, Alphaboss was none too pleased come Monday. I sat in my assistant's perch, back straight, with an extra mochachino in me already to elevate my alertness, waiting for my punishment. After the requisite comments about my ethnicity, I was informed that this week would be the worst of my entire life. Every day, he said, I was to perform a task of Alphaboss' choosing, each worse than the last. Jenna Von Oy!
MONDAY:
The Alphason has basketball practice on Mondays. I drive him there. It is a task I don't despise, because he's a good kid who can be bribed quite easily. This week, however, I had to coach his team! Firstly, I don't own sneakers (which is ironic, because Tom works at Footaction!) and I had no time to buy or borrow them, so I was forced to coach barefoot. Secondly, as you may have guessed, I don't know the difference between basketball and basket-weaving.
Driving to the practice, I experienced the most horrifying gym class flashbacks of my life. "Lloyd!" Coach Carlson would shout, "You're on the B-Team. Get over there." The B-Team was for the nerds, the Goths, the handicapped and the queers. Our job was to be tackling dummies, targets or punching bags. In this particularly waking, fever dream/memory I was playing badminton, with nothing but a flimsy racket to protect me from the onslaught of shuttlecocks flying at my face. I flail wildly, but cock after cock hit me. The real experience stunted my sexual development for 3 years.
TUESDAY:
Tuesday started like a normal day. Alphaboss was in a chipper mood. Maybe he had forgotten about his promise to torture me for five days straight? Maybe? Pleeeeeaaase!
At 11:30 everyday, if he doesn't have a lunch meeting scheduled, I ask him what he wants for lunch. "La Super-Rica, Lloyd." Okay, great. Mexican, I thought. My car will stink, but if that's all there is, I'm getting off easy...except I had never heard of La Super-Rica.
"Uh, Alphaboss?" I said, using his real name, of course. "I can't seem to find La Super-Rica in L.A."
"That's because it's in Santa Barbara, idiot. And I want it before 12:30. And I want it hot," he said.
I grabbed my jacket and bolted for my car. Santa Barbara and back in 60 mins?! My boss has told me my car looks like the prop car out of Fast and the Furious before, but I'd have to drive like Paul Walker in order to make it back in time.
I know this sounds impossible, but I was up in Santa Barbara before the clock struck 12. Seriously. I swear. I bribed 15 people to move up to the front of the line, ordered, got my food and skidaddled out of there.
Now, Alphaboss wanted his food hot, and I'd never have the time to microwave it when I got back, so I thought, "Lloyd, there's got to be some way to keep food hot in the car," when it hit me: put it under the hood!
I was flying back down the 405, making excellent time, when right around Agoura Hills, my car started to smell like burritos on fire! Shortly after, smoke billowed from the hood. OMG, the food was on fire! But I couldn't stop now because if I wasn't there by 12:30, it would all be for naught anyway. OMG OMG OMG!!
My smoky cloud of a sports car pulled into the parking lot at 12:29, and I popped the hood to find a completely burnt away paper bag, but two perfectly warm, foiled up burritos, ready to be consumed by the biggest jerk in the entire world.
WEDNESDAY:
Wednesday was an easier day than the two before. All I had to do was fire four of my boss' underperforming agents, three of whom had families. Alphaboss gets off on firing people who fail to perform to expectations. I, on the other hand, am a human being and all I wanted to do was crawl home to Tom and cry.
THURSDAY:
The night prior, I received a BBM from my boss telling me that I needed to pick him up at 5 am to go to the gym. This is standard operating procedure, so I figured I got off easily.
I arrived at his house and Alphaboss was waiting there in his cute little workout clothes with a sour look on his face. "What is this?" "My car?" I responded.
"Well, I'm not going ANYWHERE in this thing. You were supposed to have a limo for me! And you're supposed to be wearing top hat and tails, Lloyd! Don't you listen!?"
"Of course," I said, cursing him under my breath. A Top Hat and Tails? A Tuxedo? A Limo?
Limousine companies are open all night, so I called our usual guy and paid him $200 extra to let me drive while he went to Nate N' Al's. It was a good deal for him, and a pretty raw deal for your faithful blogger.
A top hat and tails? There certainly is no all-night fine clothier open in the area. I thought and thought and remembered that I once hooked up with an assistant wardrobe master for Paramount! They must have a Tuxedo in their prop house!
Now, calling him was a little dicey because I blew him off literally and figuratively. But my job was on the line, so I mustered up all the courage I could and called. He actually was thrilled to hear from me and took me into the prop house 20 minutes later. There we found the most adorable costume from a PBS performance of 'Nicholas Nickelby' that I am NOT giving back. Unfortunately, the prop house trip didn't come without a price...a price that will be left to the imaginations of my fair readers.
When I arrived back at my boss' home less than an hour later, he got in the back of the limo, failing to acknowledge how downright adorable I looked! Like I expected anything else...
FRIDAY:
I woke at 4 am, to a phone call from Alphaboss. "Lloyd," he said, "get your Kung Pao ass over to my house immediately." Still intent on impressing him, to repent for my sin, I put on a suit and drove to his house.
As I drove up, he was waiting for me. "Lloyd," he said, "my mother-in-law is staying with us in the guest room and she had an accident last night. Actually, I think it was several accidents. I would never make the maid deal with that disgusting mess, but since you seem to like to use this house to entertain people, I figured you might have a vested interest in keeping it clean. Gloves are under the sink."
So, I cleaned it up. Then I went to work and got yelled at for 8 hours. And now the week is over and I'm wrapping up here at the office. If Tom isn't cooking something and wearing nothing, I'm going to lose it!
Until next time, toodles!
Reader Comments (18)
Fight on Lloyd! I wish I had a super agent like you :D
Don't let Ari get you down >:)
I really appreciate what you share with us. Really good~ I would like to share something with you as well.If you have some time,you can visit and find your favourite with tag replicas|
The Vibram FiveFingers color Vibram Five Fingers schemes of these FiveFingers shoes Gucci outlet are quite exciting Gucci wallets and Gucci handbags enthusiastic Adidas superstar. There Adidas Originals are adidas shoes various Adidas Running reviews of the ugg boots shoe ugg australia designers ugg classic and UGG Bailey Button experts UGG Clasic Argyle Knit are posted UGG Classic Cardy online UGG Classic Crochet so that UGG Classic Mini you Ugg Classic Short can take Ugg Classic Tall a help UGG Night Fall from UGG sundance II them UGG Ultra Short for making UGG Ultra Tall a choice. The cheap Adidas shoes high soles Adidas Women of these Adidas superstar new balance Adidas Nizza multi colored Adidas Porsche Design night shoes are Adidas Stan Smith helpful in jogging. The Adidas ZX materials used in these Adidas campus shoes Adidas court star are quite Adidas forum mid comfortable brothers Gucci Women Shoes and Gucci men Shoes Rudolf Dassler Gucci Belt resulted in Gucci Sunglasses one day, Gucci caps between the Gucci，Gucci bags two.
thanks for the information , Now I know about foursquare, your blog is good, I like it-Casio replica UK
This article is great, like your article, hope can see you next article, you can also to know what our web site about chloe bag and gucci abbey bag for bride information , i hope it can bring you convenience.^
coach outlet coach factory outlet coach handbags coach factory outlet coach factory outlet online coach factory outlet online coach outlet coach outlet coach outlet store louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton outlet online louis vuitton outlet online louis vuitton outlet louis vuitton bags
Chaussures Louboutin Christian Louboutin Tiffany Co Tiffany And Co Tiffany Sale Coach Outlet Online chanel bags Burberry Outlet Burberry Sale Moncler Outlet Louis Vuitton Louis Vuitton Handbags louis vuitton bags Louis Vuitton Outlet louis vuitton borse Louis vuitton Sac
Have you ever dreamed of being as charming as Madonna? Have you ever thought of becoming an envy of all your friends? If so, come to louis vuitton outlet.Buy a unique and charm LV wallets, you should pay attention not only to look good. Quality is very important. The louis vuitton online designer leather wallets are always looking for new and long will be happy to help you.Louis Vuitton Sale online offers a big discount on the Mother's Day. We even offers lv bags as gifts for the first ten guests who buy our items. We are looking forward to your coming.The products that louis vuitton outlet is countless, such as: purses, bags, handbags, shoes, belt. Even the same kind of product includes the products for women, the products for men, for summer-day use, for winter-day use.So, it is probably far beyond your imagination.louis vuitton outlet,welcome to buy urban louis vuitton on our online shop.discount price is our special offer, durability and high quality is our promise.maybe the louis vuitton online internet site may well be considered a respire acquiring not to mention mind-boggling facts creating that you choose to wonder how can you choose from most of these great adaptations and shades?The louis vuitton outlet online is so colorful.Its products, both for the female and the male, touch upon all walks of life.louis vuitton outlet leads you to bags collection of wide, such as LV bags and LV handbag etc. They are main name in luxury and style. It is excellent quality, fine Italian technology and extraordinary beauty.Looking for a louis vuitton outlet online and don't know where they are? The easiest way is to Google it. That simple. You should at least get a hit on the actual online designer store and you can search geographically for the one nearest to you.Just come to visit once the louis vuitton online, you will fall in love with its fancy bags, purses, sunglasses, shoes and so on.The choices are likely to be basically countless seeing that louis vuitton outlet occurs with the help of completely new and also incredible concepts once in a while.Mainly because mentioned before, you could buy in the louis vuitton online, via the producer's the web outlet. Owning worn it in past times. They can supply a appropriate evaluate for the property's simplicity as well as client service description.louis vuitton outlet online will not solely store and build pertaining to your entire necessities,and makes it possible for you to create a typical appearance.Lots of women like these bags.Here is a world of louis vuitton outlet where you can find all kinds of new style and fashion Louis Vuitton bags. We really want to lead the trend and let our customer in the pursuit of luxury and fashion, satisfied the needs of customers.louis vuitton online shop sounds like a melody to most people all over the world. It is apparent to us all that Louis Vuitton has enjoyed its global prevalent selling for ages.
Today, following half a century, mentor leather-bases coach factory outlet continues to be the delicate craft of leather-based master is accountable for,Our coach factory store sells the top grade coach handbags,some of them are genuine leather handbags, yet the price is far lower than other designers want you to pay.Getting your hands on coach factory outlet store can be a hefty investment of hundreds of dollars.But do not despair,the Coach Outlet store could be the answer to your prayers.We are proud to celebrate our sixth 'Best of Award of Excellence' from Wine Spectator for coach factory outlet online. Our Sommelier team works diligently to ensure you have some of the best wine values available.The coach shoulder bags win a lot of grace and market share. It can be said that the coach is a legend in history bags at coach outlet.Though handbags are basically an accessory item of girls, there are many modern handbags and wallets for males too as it has become the ultimate fashion accessory at coach factory outlet.There are some practical and beautiful items for sale at coach factory outlet online for your selection. Do not miss it and have one for a try.Welcome to the coach factory outlet store and Enjoy Shopping Here! We promise all the customers to have the superior qualities and low prices.Coach handbags with double-stitched seams and handles, added inside pockets, and only the finest leathers. we guarantee the toppest handbags at low price you will find from coach outlet online.Almost everyone has identified effectively about this, below, among the best to make sure you will get much more information about coach outlet.coach factory outlet online is a fashion brand to ensure its quality. With designer coach shoulder bags, you will always attract people's attention. The bags will emphasize your personal style and taste.coach outlet sells products which are excellent in quality and reasonable in price. All customers can easily pick up their favorite Coach briefcase, wallets, shoes, hats, scarf, jewelry and sunglasses.Coach is a leading American designer and maker of luxury lifestyle handbags and accessories.There is no doubt that here coach factory outlet is the exact place you should visit.coach factory owns the reputation all over the world. It is always devoted to making the best products and providing the best services for its customers.We are proud to celebrate our sixth 'Best of Award of Excellence' from Wine Spectator for coach factory outlet online. Our Sommelier team works diligently to ensure you have some of the best wine values available.By the fashion, novel appearance, sophisticated technology, superior quality, coach outlet won domestic and international customers, their products exported to the Middle East, Southeast Asia and other regions.That experts claim coach factory outlet shopping is in the changes they are available in, which can make it well suited for benefit from to be a'luggage'bag.coach factory outlet online using a range of quality fabrics and materials and offer beautiful and high-quality items such as bags, jewelry, sunglasses, shoes and so on.Just order.go to enjoyment.In my experience, most people adore coach outlet store or they hate it, there's not much of an in-between. And that's true of most lines that really go for it when it comes to having a point of view-the more personality a bag has, the wider the gulf between the lovers and the haters becomes.At the coach outlet online Store, quality products and satisfying service are provided;High safety and prompt delivery is guaranteed.coach outlet handbags's special design and fashion is certainly and so eye-catching, I hope you are able to get much more attention towards the Cheap Coach Crossbody.In particular, products from coach factory outlet with leather design are fashionable, handmade,leading the wave of American pop.It with simple,durable and unique style to win consumers.Several days ago, my friends recommended coach factory online to me, which provides women with cheaper Coach goods, better service and faster delivery.Come to coach factory outlet and find brand new Coach Factory Shoes Ivory Gray here, which are one of the casual, leisure yet uncommon Coach Factory shoes for women on sale.Designs of this season give you the unlimited cool feelings in this cool summer. The new designs of Coach products in the coach outlet enrich our daily life.There's the recent coach factory outlet online intended for 2011 of our own Louis vuitton outlet store shopping. Most of these bags possess the top quality & lowest cost!Are you still worrying about where to buy yourself a Coach? Then coach factory outlet store Online offering top-quality goods and first-class service can be your way-out.If you have been to the mall lately and browsed coach outlet you may find that a high price tag goes along with just about everything in the mall.If you desire to go to coach factory outlet, but have no idea in which to go, you can research online. It is no doubt that there is drastically information and details about it for the reference.coach factory outlet online offer New Signature bags which is a the newest cool creation from Coach. The look is positively upscale. Gorgeous lightly textured black leather, beautiful for any season.
You just came Chanel Replicas across this really cool bumper sticker printing website that offers colorful, custom stickers at great prices. Unfortunately, Chanel Handbags you're just not sure that you want to put Chanel Bags a sticker of any kind on your Prada Handbags car. What reason would you have to do UGG so?
Trust us;Discount UGGs there are plenty of reasons to Prada Replicas smack one of these great stickers on your ride. The Prada Bags first of which is for a cause. UGGs Is there something that you feel particularly strong about? Are you completely against illegal Gucci Replicas immigration? Do you support organ and tissue donation? Are you a gun control advocate? Are you all about owning a firearm? Gucci Handbags These days there are plenty of things to be passionate UGG Boots on Sale about, from wars in foreign countries, to animal adoption. Gucci Bags People from your hometown to places on the opposite side of the country are promoting their causes with bumper sticker printing.UGG Boots
You don't want to let everyone know Louis Vuitton Replicas how you feel about the death penalty. That's okay! People are putting bumper stickers on their Christian Louboutin Shoes on Sale cars for other reasons too. Discount UGG Boots How about advertising? Do you own a business? Louis Vuitton Handbags Do you have a friend who owns a business? What about UGG Boots Outlet your parents? Individuals who own businesses are beginning to realize that it doesn't really make sense to pay for elaborate Louis Vuitton Bags and expensive advertising when you could just advertise on your own vehicle for essentially free. Bumper sticker advertising is not Discount UGG Boots only inexpensive, it's portable. If you're promoting your business from the back window of your car, then people from your house, to the mall, to the Coach Bags Outlet beach where you're planning to go this weekend will see your advertisement.UGG Boots on Sale Talk about Christian Louboutin Outlet reaching a mass market!
What about politics? Are you a Democrat who is against the new Republican congress and you're already dreaming Coach Handbags about campaigning for the future? Come up with a slogan and make it happen! Or, you can Cheap UGG Boots just promote the candidate with whom you most relate. If you're passionate about politics and you want to help your favorite candidate get the word out, a Coach Bags bumper sticker is definitely the way to go. Political stickers are almost as The North Face Outlet prevalent on the roadway as....cars! Christian Louboutin Shoes
Another type of sticker that's seen on Coach Outlet Online the roadways quite frequently is the sports team sticker. Show off your UGG Boots Volunteer Pride or your love for the Baltimore Orioles with a big, orange "T" or an "O" Discount Christian Louboutin Shoes that takes up half of the back window on your SUV. There are sports team stickers available everywhere online. If Cheap Christian Louboutin Shoes you aren't seeing one you love, a custom bumper sticker printing company can certainly produce one for you and it'll Coach Outlet be a bumper sticker you're proud to have on your car. The North Face Jackets
People also put stickers on North Face Jackets their cars for religious and spiritual reasons. From the Jesus fish, to the cross, people Coach Handbags Outlet are praising the Lord in the pew and on their bumper!
On a more somber note, people also use Coach Handbags bumper stickers to remember relatives and friends who have passed away.
If you're UGGs interested in ordering your Coach Bags Outlet own custom bumper sticker, you're making a great decision! Have a seat in front of your computer and visit a bumper sticker printing company's website. You can customize your own sticker Coach Bags or choose one from the thousands they have to offer. Don't just stop at one though! You can order stickers in bulk, which is especially handy if you're using your bumper stickers to promote your small business. Your Coach Outlet sticker order should ship The North Face Jacket within a couple of days and you'll be well on your way to showing off your cause, political affiliation, or favorite sports team! North Face Jacket
Louis Vuitton Outlet,Louis Vuitton
Online Store ,are famous for the Unique articules ,login Louis Vuitton Handbag On Sale to buy your articles, such as Monogram Multicolore,Monogram Canvas Handbags. Owing to the various styles and models, up-to-date styling,elegant appearance,full range of colors and designs,quality and quantity assured .Louis Vuitton Handbags have become the best seller in international market. Now, Login Louis Vuitton Handbag On Sale to choose your favorites. What's more,the latest commodities are renowned both at home and abroad for exquisite workmanship, skillful knitting and elegant design,famous for selected materials, novel designs, delightful colors and exquisite workmanship. So please take action Now!
It’s very good for us to learn and read. Besides, if you like to play morph, you can click cheap chanel bagsto buy what you need.
It’s very good for us to learn and read. Besides, if you like to play morph, you can click cheap chanel bagsto buy what you need.
Christian Louboutin Knockoffs Shoes, buy cheap
christian louboutin replica shoes here. All are top quality and free shipping fee to anywhere. Discount Christian Louboutin high heels for sale,Big Discounts and Free Shipping to Worldwide!
We needed was another bout of you denied it but you were caught on tape histrionics, louis vuitton fake handbags. It seems to be one of the traits of Irish politics, and what we get is largely to be expected, replica louis vuitton.
Fake louis vuitton business as usual. Enda Kenny did indeed break an election party promise, and Louis Vuitton Antheia, as a result, rather than having a meaningful debate on whether or not these replica louis vuitton should be closed, we have a bout of handbags over who said what.
We also had the louis vuitton bags showing of hypocrisy that has recently enveloped Fianna Fail. Maybe someone should dig up the audio tape on that one discount louis vuitton, because for the past three months he has provided Louis Vuitton Cosmic.
Louis Vuitton Monogram handbags online shop, Buy cheap Louis vuitton Monogram replica handbag with free shipping to worldwide.
Paul Smith outlet est devenu de plus en plus populaire. Savez vous Paul Smith voulait devenir cycliste professionnel ? saviez-vous qu’il propose aujourd’hui 12 collections différentes ? chaussures paul smith, Paul Smith france parfum, Paul Smith montre, Paul Smith stylo, Paul Smith meubles, Paul Smith tapis, Paul Smith lunettes , sac paul smith , paul smith portefeuille.
Notre UGG france boutique vous offre collection de UGG bottes , achat de chaussures UGG ; UGG boots en ligne. Ici vente de UGG pas cher avec un meilleur prix mais très bonne qualité.
Acheter franklin et marshall sur notre franklin marshall pas cher boutique en ligne, vente pull franklin & marshall, franklin marshall femme, veste franklin marshall, Blouson franklin marshall de bonne qualité.
Eiad Shurbaji, an opposition Coach Factory Storefigure reached in Damascus by phone, Chanel Handbagsexpressed skepticism that Syria would respond sincerely to any new Coach OutletArab League pressure. “Is it suspending Syria’s membership that is going to achieve that?” Mr. Shurbaji said. “I don’t know. So far nothing has worked.”
Qatar seemed the most aggressive Louis Vuittonin pushing for such a move, LV Outletbut opposition comes from various quarters. Saudi Arabia, Coach Outletthe most authoritarian and conservative country inCoach Outlet the Arab world, appeared more cautious, as did Egypt, Algeria, Yemen and others, whose governments feared such a move could provide momentum toCoach Outlet the tumult in the region.
Comme on sais, Paul Smith outlet produit nous apporte toujours des création spéciale. N’hesitez pas visiter notre Paul Smith France magasin en ligne, beaucoup de chaussures Paul Smith, sac Paul Smith, portefeuille Paul Smith sont à votre choix. Bienvenue !
Regardez notre Paul Smith france boutique en ligne, vous trouvez les chaussures Paul Smith, les sacs Paul Smith de vayages, les porte-feuille, des vêtements, les chemises et les séries Paul Smith Homme et Paul Smith Femme, de qualité supérieure mais à prix fou, profitez-vous la livraison gratuite!